We all know people who seem to always be able to get others to do what they want – and not through bullying or aggression, but through positive influence and negotiation. Or, in other words…through the fine art of persuasion.
Negotiation or persuasion?
Negotiation and persuasion are essential communication skills that are used daily, from significant financial deals to small family interactions. But do you know the difference? Negotiation aims to find common goals or new perspectives, while persuasion involves influencing others positively, such as convincing someone to buy a product or accept a proposal.
Both negotiation and persuasion are skills that can be improved with intentional practice and attention.
Key negotiation techniques
There are six techniques that you can master when it comes to being an effective negotiator.
1. Tactical empathy
Tactical empathy, a concept from Chris Voss’s book Never Split the Difference, involves acknowledging the other party’s emotions and perspectives without necessarily agreeing with them. This approach helps build rapport and shifts negotiations toward collaboration which opens dialogue and reduces defensiveness.
2. The power of “no”
The word “no” can be a powerful tool in persuasion. Getting someone to say no to larger asks can make them more willing to accept smaller, yet still desired, requests. For example, grocery stores know that if they strategically place smaller “treat” items near the checkout, it can result in customers rewarding themselves with a small item after declining bigger temptations, like in the cookie or chip aisle.
3. Calibrated questions
Calibrated questions are subtle, open-ended questions designed to steer conversations and encourage problem-solving by the other party. For instance, asking “How would you like me to do that?” in response to a demand prompts reflection and can lead to alternative solutions. This technique helps maintain control and fosters collaborative negotiation.
4. Mirroring
Mirroring involves repeating the other person’s words or matching their body language to build trust and rapport. Like a mirror, it is a reflection of what the other person is doing, rather than a reaction. Mirroring can be as simple as taking a sip of your drink when they take a sip of theirs. There is also verbal mirroring or turning a statement into question to invite clarification. For example, “I feel like my family isn’t properly protected financially,” can be mirrored back verbally as, “You don’t feel like your family has enough protection?” When you do this, the other person is encouraged to share more information, which is valuable in negotiations.
5. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
BATNA is a strategy that prepares negotiators by identifying alternatives if the preferred deal is not possible. Knowing these options prevents rushed decisions and allows more creative solutions to emerge. Presenting multiple options to clients, such as different financial plans, helps focus discussions and clarifies professional recommendations without pressure.
6. Exploring interests vs positions
Focusing on underlying interests rather than rigid positions opens opportunities for creative problem-solving. For example, an employee requesting a four-day workweek may be denied this request as a matter of company policy or position. But understanding the interest or need behind the request (e.g., long commute, family responsibilities) can lead to flexible solutions like hybrid work arrangements, resulting in happier outcomes for all parties.
Aristotle’s Principles of Persuasion: Ethos, Logos and Pathos
Aristotle is probably not someone you spend a lot of time thinking about, but his philosophies and principles have stood the test of time and are still used today with effective results. When it comes to the art of persuasion, Aristotle put forth three principles:
- Ethos: Persuasion through credibility, integrity and authenticity. Consistency and honesty build trust.
- Logos: Persuasion through logic, facts, and clear evidence, appealing to those motivated by data and structured reasoning.
- Pathos: Persuasion through emotional appeal, storytelling, and vivid examples that connect with feelings.
Start improving your power of persuasion and influence now
One thing that you can easily do is practice mirroring in everyday conversations. It’s a good starting point for improving your skills of influence and persuasion. By matching body language and repeating others’ words back to them, you can build rapport and observe the effects, gradually developing mastery in persuasion techniques.
To learn more about the art of influence, listen to our podcast episode, The art of persuasion available at ivari.ca/podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Disclaimer
This article is intended for general information purposes only and should not be considered specific advice, nor is it a substitute for advice from a qualified professional. The article may contain information obtained from third-party sources. While reasonable efforts have been made at the time of publication to ensure that the contents of this article have been derived from reliable and accurate sources, including third party sources, ivari provides the information “as is” and ivari does not warrant the accuracy or completeness of the information contained herein.
Neither ivari nor its affiliates, officers, employees or any other person accepts any liability whatsoever for any direct, indirect or consequential loss arising from any use or reliance on the information or opinions contained herein.
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